The Couch?! Resolves to carry on as normal

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There's a huge pressure come January 1 to promise to become a better/fitter/smarter and more motivated person. But we all know that promises to go to the gym, start a new course or stop smoking that seem so viable on January 1 are often consigned to the dustbin ten days later. And then, of course, comes all the guilt that's associated with failure.

Let's face it if we are resolving to change our lives, the dark, gloomy post-festive days of January may not be the best time to get started.

At this time of year we need all the comfort and familiarity we can get, so for 2006 the Couch?! have decided to only come up with resolutions we can keep.

This year we resolve to:
1) Continue to eat chocolate and stodge until three weeks before our summer holidays, when the "Cabbage Soup"/ "Low GI"/ Atkins diet book will be dusted off, as always.

2) Not be fooled into signing up for exorbitant gym membership on the grounds that somehow a financial commitment will result in a mental and physical commitment.

3) In fact make no effort at all to lose weight, thereby saving a fortune on buying new clothes - possibly even enough to pay off that Christmas credit card bill.

4) Couchers who enjoy the odd cigarette will continue to do so while they can. (It can only be a matter of time before the animal rights lobby point out the dangers of passive smoking to pets, and the ban on smoking in public places will be extended to our homes as well.)

5) Not be more considerate. When other people start being nicer to us, then maybe we'll think about it.

6) Continue at the same pace at work – at least until the carrot of financial reward/ promotion is waved under our noses.

7) Continue to use our cars for all journeys and feel no guilt.
When public transport can guarantee to go where we want to go, turn up in time and not be over-crowded, we will consider it a viable alternative.

8) Stay in the same job – CV-writing and interviews are just so stressful and competition is hot in January. Far better to save that zeal for when others ambitions have worn off.

9) Continue to drink alcohol. One of life's few pleasures and where better to hunker up on a cold winter's night than a cosy pub with a few friends?

10) Not write a diary. It's far too stressful trying to make daily life interesting enough to be worth writing about.

* Are you more motivated to turn over a new leaf than the Couch?! team? Post your resolutions for 2006 by adding a comment below.


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