Scene One. Your office. Jessica has just won the Employee of the Month Award. She’s basking in the warm glow of applause. And quite right too. She’s got a terrific work ethic. The clients love her. Bluntly, she’s going to contribute significantly to your bottom line.

Scene Two. Your car. Driving back from an appointment. The phone rings. Your trusted second-in-command. “Where are you?” she says. “We’ve got a problem.”

“What sort of problem?”

“Jessica. She’s hit Phillip.”

“I’m sorry, reception’s really bad here. For a minute I thought you said that Jessica had hit Phillip.”

She did.

You come back to an office in chaos. Tact, diplomacy, authority – you’re going to need them all. And you’re going to have to make a very difficult decision.  

Any coincidence between the above – entirely fictitious – scenario and the current brouhaha surround Master Clarkson is, of course, entirely deliberate. We all know the story by now. A fracas over a plate of cold meat, blows are exchanged, Jeremy is suspended by the BBC and approaching a million people rapidly sign a petition demanding his re-instatement.

Like him or loathe him Clarkson is hugely successful. Top Gear is by far the biggest overseas earner for the BBC, watched in over 200 countries by an estimated 350m people. If the BBC were a private company, Clarkson would be Employee of the Month, Year and Decade. Irrespective of what happened at Simonstone Hall he could still arrive at work to find the directors forming a guard of honour as he drove into his reserved parking space.

Clearly you don’t employ anyone like Jeremy Clarkson. But almost certainly you do employ someone who’s integral to the success of your business – or, like Jessica – who’s going to be. So the question prompted by the punch-up at the Beeb is simple: what should you do if Cold Meatgate happens in your office?

For me, there are five key points:  

• First of all, your top performers are very often the most difficult members of staff to manage. They’re entrepreneurial and they do things differently: if they didn’t, they wouldn’t be your top performers. This frequently goes hand in hand with a slight disregard for the rules, for the accepted way of doing things – and yes, sometimes this is going to rankle with other members of the team
• Employers and employees are only human. You’re bound to value – and like – some employees more than others. There are bound to be tensions in the office or on the shop floor. There hasn’t been a workplace or organisation in recorded history where everyone liked everyone else. But…
• There are certain lines that simply cannot be crossed – and profit is not the only determinant of a company’s success or values. Sometimes when my children were young I would say, “You can’t do that. It’s simply wrong. That’s all there is to it.” Your office is exactly the same – some behaviour is simply not acceptable. However much that salesman brings in, however much you need that engineer, if he’s crossed the line, he has to go
• And the way to make sure that the departure doesn’t hurt you too much is to plan for it. Successful businesses are constantly developing people and constantly asking ‘what if?’ You should have a replacement pencilled in for every key member of your team
• Lastly, we come to the men in suits. The producer in the Jeremy Clarkson case has undoubtedly spoken to his lawyers – so has the star of the show following the inevitable fallout. We live in an increasingly litigious world and if you don’t have a policy in place for behaviour of this kind – and if you don’t enforce it fairly and openly – then you are running serious risks. No matter how much profit a star performer may bring to your bottom line, litigation can remove it remarkably quickly. If you need help or guidance in this area, don’t hesitate to speak to Nicky or Tracey in the Castle HR team

Nobody wants to see disputes – physical or otherwise – in the workplace. But they happen: that’s a simple fact. And if you’re the owner or the CEO of a business the buck will stop at your desk. You’ll need to have a policy in place, you’ll need to take action, and you’ll need to take that action quickly, fairly and openly.